The Number One Healer Boundary Doctors are Breaking
Do you take PRIDE when your patients get better? Does “Doctor, you’re a miracle worker!” make your heart sing? Do you smile every time you see a client’s testimonial?
As leaders in the wellness industry it is our job to make sure that our patients and clientele get better…. RIGHT? That is what they are paying you for. If your patients aren’t getting better it is because you are a bad doctor….. That is 100% WRONG!
We have our job descriptions wrong. I ran the Bolen Health Institute Practitioner course a few weeks ago, to some of the most elite healers in the world. The common themes were a lack of boundaries, ineffective communication with patients, and following the wrong job description.
Our only job is to guide people along their entire healing journey and stay anchored in their magnificence. As Doctors and leaders in the wellness industry, we paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to open a magnificent tour guide company. To show our clients around their own bodies, point out their needs, and allow them to pass through the “gift shop” of our healing modalities.
We Do NOT heal our patients. We Do NOT take credit for our clients getting better. If you do, and this is quite common in the wellness industry, it means that you also must take credit when they don’t get better. Their healing journey is not about you, and your capabilities. It is about them, and ONLY them.
There are fabulous doctors out there that have forgotten this very important fact. They never even realized that they broke the number one healer’s boundary; The responsibility for change is on the client.
When we take on our clients’ responsibility to get better, we end up burned out, miserable, and second guessing our value. Our job is to empower our patients on their healing journey and provide them with different resources along the way. Whether they accept those resources and do the work, is solely the responsibility of the patient.
Four months ago, a patient was trying to shift their responsibility onto me. My patient came into my office and said that nothing is working. I’m tired of trying everything and anything under the sun in order to heal. Why haven’t you healed me yet?
Why haven’t you healed me yet….. That statement right there says it all. They expect some to heal them. They want someone to make their pain go away, without taking responsibility for their own change.
I calmly replied, “Have you been showing up for your acupuncture appointments regularly?”
My patient, looks down and says, “No”
I continue, “Have you made the dietary changes I suggested you make?”
Still looking down, he replies “No”
“OK… Have you been doing the anger work and tasking I have given you to do?”
Now he is looking down and twiddling his thumbs, “No”.
I giggle a little bit and ask him how exactly he expected to get better. ” I can’t make those changes for you. I can only guide you to the proper tools, to help you get better. I cannot heal you. I cannot take your journey for you. I CAN be your biggest cheerleader and provide you with the most powerful mind body medicine tools on the planet. It is up to you whether you are willing to journey with me or stay exactly where you are.
My job is to hold out my hand and lead you through this wild and crazy adventure. You need to take all the steps for yourself. You may even learn a few things along the way. Do you want to get better? And I mean REALLY Want to get better?
(patient) “Yes, I really do!”
“Good! Are you will to start holding up your end of this journey? Which means that you start taking responsibility for your health, and finally start doing the task I am giving you?”
(patient) “Yes, I never really thought of it that way. I always expected the doctors to fix me somehow. That magically I would get better, and things would change. You are the only doctor that cared enough to hold me responsible for my own health. Thank you!”
I was touched with his comments and reaffirmed that I am just the tour guide. Congratulations, on finally stepping up for yourself. Welcome to what it is like to be empowered on your journey.
The only way you can empower someone is by holding out your hand and making their journey easier. Your heart and your ego are going to enjoy the compliments. We are all human by the way, and that is what keeps us in the field. The important part is that the patient knows… that they were the ones that did it for themselves and you were just along for the ride.
Let’s stop pretending that we have anything to do with our clients’ success. Let’s start celebrating that the client grew along the way and did the work for themselves. Celebrate with them, for their triumphant success.
It’s time to stop taking their wins AND failures personally. In order to transform health, we need to make sure we are also transforming and working on our boundaries. No matter what part of the wellness industry you are from, we are constantly up leveling so we can continue being leaders.
What just shifted for you? I want to know. Book a Zoom Tea with me right now.